Creativity
I watched Iris on BBC2 this evening. It’s an intense film and Judi Dench’s performance is magnificence of course, both moving and multi-layered.
It got me thinking about the nature of creativity and how people choose to express themselves. It was clear that Murdoch had such an affinity with words that they seemed to almost bring themselves to life for her. I don’t know whether she felt that her books had personalities, but it came across in the film that words were the way that she chose to explore her own psyche.
I’m not good with words. I find it hard to express myself through them. I’ve never felt that spoken or written communication is the most natural way for me to connect with people. This has caused me problems in the past, both with forming and maintaining relationships. The only serious relationship I’ve had ended, in part, because I couldn’t communicate effectively and say what I really thought, and felt.
Maybe some day I’ll work it all out, and things will be different. I’m not sure if I’m just a naturally quiet person, happy with my own company, keeping my feelings to myself, or whether this is a problem that I need to sort out.
Shit it’s late. I really shouldn’t think so much. It just makes me sad..