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This is the sound of me trying to write thread-safe C++ on a Monday morning…

Okay, here’s the deal. I have a telly, which has one Scart socket on the back. I have a Freeview box, which also has one Scart socket on the back.

I am aware that both these facts tend towards me owning poor-quality equipment.

They are connected together, allowing me the joys of ITV2 and “The Hits TV”.

Trouble is, I’m thinking about getting a DVD player. This will undoubtedly have a Scart socket on the back of it.

How can I connect it to the telly without changing the cables into the telly (and consequently requiring a trip to casualty as I gash my head open grovelling round the back) each time I want to watch a DVD? Can you buy Scart switch-boxes?

I couldn’t see any at Dixons. Don’t tell me I’m going to have to get some parts from Maplins and break out the soldering iron…

Possibly the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Believe me, I was just as surprised as you.

I was in a shop (it’s the sales at the moment). I was in a shop, just looking at the clothes when I saw a T-shirt I liked, but I couldn’t see it in my size. I looked around, saw a shop assistant and asked her if she would mind seeing if they had it in my size out the back of the shop. She looked at me a bit strangely, but she went off and came back a few minutes later.

“No”, she said. “They don’t have it in your size”.

“Oh”, I said. “Well, thanks for finding out anyway”. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. Again slightly strangely.

“Hang on“, I thought. “They?”. Then, out of the corner of my eye I noticed that she was carrying a carrier bag. The penny dropped.

“You don’t work here, do you?”, I asked.

“No”, she replied, grinning again.

Normally I would be horrified in this situation and turn into an embarrassed idiot, but instead I just burst out laughing. That set her off, until we were both giggling in the middle of this shop. I asked her what her name was, and she said it was Katie.

We got to talking for a few minutes, until (and this is very unlike me) I asked her whether she’d like to go for a coffee. Shockingly, she accepted, and we walked towards the shop exit.

Then, as soon as I set a foot over the shop’s exit, I woke up.